Sailed away.... Goodbye....
This is the 4th day of me being literally alone, yes, alone on my own. And it has been 4 days since we last stopped texting each other nor contacting each other anymore. We were through this time, really through. I admit, I am quite an emotional person who can not really accept the fact that you left, in the first place. But soon I realize, It might be better for both of us to walk separate ways as we can never work out together.
I have never feel such pain before in my life. But I am trying my best to stay strong. Since the split up, I have never sleep or eat or do anything properly. My books are abandoned for a few days while my National exams is in a week time. You leave me no choice. What about your promises to me? That you would help me in my studies? you left me in my most important moment and when you are having your holidays already. Which I think it is quite selfish for you to do such a thing to me. You don't even give me a chance to settle it with you peacefully, Thus, leave me in despair.
I never knew you are such a character in person.
I should have known earlier...
I should have known long ago, that you would bring me disaster in my life.
I should have known earlier, you are never the one for me.
I should have known....
But what is the point of saying all these? The future depends on my action now. While now, I don't even know how to take care of myself. How am I suppose to move on like this? People around has been questioning me. Why him? Why couldn't you forget about this guy after all these time of how he had treated you? Why are you so foolish? Why? Why? Why?
I really wanna scream and tell all of them that I, myself don't even know the answer either. This things is way too complicated. My life is too complicated. I seemed dead for a few days and I keep dreaming about our past. I swear, I miss you. Really. Even til now. But I guess, we can never work things out properly. You had chosen you leave me when I am struggling hard for my exams. But yeah, no point saying. You aren't gonna realize it. Its my exams, not yours. You aint gonna care. All you care about is your current life. Free from exams and you can do anything you want including of ruining my life when I am suppose to study for my exams but our problems have been affecting me. Have you ever thought of it? Seriously?
I really thought you were different from any other guy I know. I guess, you're not. You lied... You swore... You broke promises... You hurt me... Nothing's good.
And finally, I can actually delete your text messages in my Phone. The texts that you sent me from the first day you texted me in this iPhone. I have deleted them all, utterly. The 2 years messages. I had finally get rid of them. Never once I deleted any of the messages of yours, but I did it. I even deleted your contact number and every thing I have that reminds me of you. I discarded them off my life. Now, I just need a matter of time. I will get rid of you, utterly from my life. Just a matter of time. I will get rid of you. from my heart, and I'm gonna move on with my life. I hope I will do good for my forthcoming exams and I hope you won't appear in my mind anymore.
Thinking about it, you are actually torturing me, Why don't you realize it? Do you really wish to see me break down every single day? Or see me fail my exams? Do you? Well I don't know if you do. Anyway, We suppose to be meeting on Thursday, Friday and Today. But yeah, since we're through, I am still gonna continue my life....
How selfish you are....
You had taken half of my soul with you....
I am already very stressed because of my school work. I haven't even started drawing for my Art Prelim Paper 2. What can I do now? Things are getting pretty messed up... I don't know how to face all these anymore. You should have treated me better....
Farewell..... I admit I am really happy to have spend time with you this 2 years. But sadly, we can never work out. Well, I made a lot more mistakes than you have made. I love you, I really do.....
You took half of my soul with you.
You left me nothing, but memories.
Look, I don't wanna quarrel anymore...... I am sick of quarreling and all those hurtful remarks.
Hopefully, things will be good again.....
Adios. Love.
