Every time I look at the old letters, old messages, and those chat history I had ever have with you. I feel really broken, I feel lost as well. In our very own world. To the world when we were close to each other. When I look at the way we are now, I am feeling desperate, even more.
Flashbacks and memories about of our past keep appearing in my mind. The way you treated me before. I know there is no point saying all these in here. You can never go back to be the old you anymore.
I tried to stop thinking about the old you, and move on instead of being stuck in the past with you. The friggin old memories are haunting me every single day. I tried to keep myself busy by studying so I could get rid of any thoughts about you in my brain, away from me. But I just can't. Every single place in Singapore reminds me of us. The old us. Why can't you change back like the way you were last time. The very first time when we know each other? Isn't it better?
Now, I do think that being a friend to you is much better than being someone else. I just wish I could turn back the time the 2009. I hate this year, I hate 2011. This year is full of obstacles, and I swear they are killing my brain cells. Why can't we be like last time? Don't you want it as well?
Sigh.... My life in this foreign place is tough enough.
Plus the obstacles I am facing throughout the whole year since January. I feel like giving up of my life now. There's no point struggling and fight the fear by myself anymore.
I used to get stress up very easily that I love to go around Singapore, just to try dig out every single bit of memory left in certain places. You don't know how much you mean to me. You'll never know.
I'll never be your somebody.....anymore......
And yeah, am damn freak out now. Exams are around the corner, and I haven't really prepare well yet. I didn't even study this week. Pull up your socks, Vivian!!
Ohwells, I would love to share about my best life experience throughout the year. Meeting B1A4 in real life and actually had talked to them in person, in reality as well.
On 7th August 2011, was the day of the boys first arrival in Singapore and waved around to greet their fans. It was awesome, I could actually see their close-up faces in the airport.
On 8th August 2011, I went for their Meet and Greet session for our Autograph session with Chrisen. It was totally insanely incredible. I held hands with all of the members and also, Gongchan had stole my heart from that day onwards. Iluma was the place where the Meet and Green session was held.
On 9th August 2011, we went for their showcase at Suntec City, The Rock Auditorium. Magnificent Showcase was held in there. And I miss the boys thoroughly by now. They are one of the most friendly boy band I had ever liked. Still envy those fangirls who had the chance to went upstage.
On 10th August 2011, we stalked the boys at Universal Studios, and yeah last eye contact with the boys!!! All of them waved at me. and Sandeul said Hi! I was totally high and crazy as well. And also stalked them at Changi Airport, Terminal 2. And they stopped by and gave us Goodbye speech! :D
I miss the boys......
B1A4, 보고싶어~ 비원에이포~~ ^^ 사랑해요~ ㅋㅋㅋ
B1A4 ~ :D I miss you guys! I will be waiting for you boys to come back to Singapore again! Forever BANAs!! :D
As for my baby boyfriend, Gan Lin Han...
I hope things could get better for us. I want the old us back. Sigh.
