I'm starting to love this city even more, I never thought I could adapt this fast in the States, but surprisingly, I love it here more than anything else. I don't even feel homesick anymore.
Even so, I still miss Singapore because Singapore is like my second home. Everything there is so memorable and precious to me. As much as I love this city, I miss Singapore too.
Thinking back about those times, today I am going to write about why did I make the decision about moving to Seattle.
About 2 years ago, during my 'N' level period, somewhere in November 2011, that was the time when I feel that life is meaningless in Singapore, I feel that I have lost everything precious. Everything I have became everything I had. I have lost him.
That was the most painful experience in my life. Everyday is a misery to me. Nothing cheers me up. Nothing ever make me smile. My life turned to be black and white. I have lost the colour of my life. A few years back then, I was too over sensitive when I have to think back about those painful days, but today I finally be able to open up on this blog to write about my feelings back then.
After I have lost him, my life has no more meaning and I have no more motivation to even continue with my life. Losing someone I love the most is the most painful experience ever. My friends had been trying to cheer me up with whatever ways. That was why, I started drinking, clubbing, doing all sorts of things possible to forget about him. Nothing ever works properly for me.
Whenever I was drunk in the club or something, I also mumbled his name. Cried for him, and hallucinated about him. LOL. This is crazy but yeah, I have gone insane for a couple of time. Seeing everyone as Him. Because that was how much I wanted him back in my life. He will never realise this because I never have the chance to tell him how meaningful his existence was.
Moving on.
Knowing that drinking and clubbing and partying and getting wasted do not help a shit, I made a freaking decision. I know that staying in Singapore will get me no where because everywhere I go I remember us, I remember him. I even cried whenever my bus passes certain places. What can I do? Nothing.
Who can I rant to? Only a few people knows the whole story.
I constantly blame myself for every single mistakes that I have committed in the past when I was with him, I felt that I am the most useless girl in the whole universe.
Feeling confused,
I decided to move to another country. Stay in a different environment, stay in a different city, somewhere new and foreign, where I can forget about him.
I wanna forget about him badly. I even try to throw those letters and everything about him away, but I can't do it. I cried on 4th every month whenever I remember that date is suppose to be our monthlysary.
I finally made a decision. A huge decision to move to Seattle.
Leaving everything behind.
So far, I enjoyed my life in Seattle a lot. Although I am already planning to move to California next year.
Beside the suckish public transportation here, everything is good here. I just need to buy myself a god damn car as soon as possible. LOL.
I feel much stronger now.
2 years without you, I felt empty, but also...
I wanna thank you for the memorable lessons.
Period.
Even so, I still miss Singapore because Singapore is like my second home. Everything there is so memorable and precious to me. As much as I love this city, I miss Singapore too.
Thinking back about those times, today I am going to write about why did I make the decision about moving to Seattle.
About 2 years ago, during my 'N' level period, somewhere in November 2011, that was the time when I feel that life is meaningless in Singapore, I feel that I have lost everything precious. Everything I have became everything I had. I have lost him.
That was the most painful experience in my life. Everyday is a misery to me. Nothing cheers me up. Nothing ever make me smile. My life turned to be black and white. I have lost the colour of my life. A few years back then, I was too over sensitive when I have to think back about those painful days, but today I finally be able to open up on this blog to write about my feelings back then.
After I have lost him, my life has no more meaning and I have no more motivation to even continue with my life. Losing someone I love the most is the most painful experience ever. My friends had been trying to cheer me up with whatever ways. That was why, I started drinking, clubbing, doing all sorts of things possible to forget about him. Nothing ever works properly for me.
Whenever I was drunk in the club or something, I also mumbled his name. Cried for him, and hallucinated about him. LOL. This is crazy but yeah, I have gone insane for a couple of time. Seeing everyone as Him. Because that was how much I wanted him back in my life. He will never realise this because I never have the chance to tell him how meaningful his existence was.
Moving on.
Knowing that drinking and clubbing and partying and getting wasted do not help a shit, I made a freaking decision. I know that staying in Singapore will get me no where because everywhere I go I remember us, I remember him. I even cried whenever my bus passes certain places. What can I do? Nothing.
Who can I rant to? Only a few people knows the whole story.
I constantly blame myself for every single mistakes that I have committed in the past when I was with him, I felt that I am the most useless girl in the whole universe.
Feeling confused,
I decided to move to another country. Stay in a different environment, stay in a different city, somewhere new and foreign, where I can forget about him.
I wanna forget about him badly. I even try to throw those letters and everything about him away, but I can't do it. I cried on 4th every month whenever I remember that date is suppose to be our monthlysary.
I finally made a decision. A huge decision to move to Seattle.
Leaving everything behind.
So far, I enjoyed my life in Seattle a lot. Although I am already planning to move to California next year.
Beside the suckish public transportation here, everything is good here. I just need to buy myself a god damn car as soon as possible. LOL.
I feel much stronger now.
2 years without you, I felt empty, but also...
I wanna thank you for the memorable lessons.
Period.
